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The Wardrobe’s Best Dressed: Love, Robot by Margaret Rhee

Lemonade
That night I knew you left and took her in
I imagined you played with her buttons feverishly
That scene played on repeat in my sad head
You pressed, she pressed. Remember
I placed you in rice, and reset you? I let you rise again.
And now you want me back? It makes no algorithmic
sense. Maybe you are just lonely, since she left
or it’s hard to let me go. When they soldered
us together, the solder overflowed.
That should have been the first sign. She left
you a virus, you say? I told you she
was a low-grade version with a mean glitch.
Damaged hardware and software. Nothing to update.
But baby, yes, you know. I still want all the bits of you.


This selection comes from the collection Love, Robot, available from The Operating System. Order your copy here. Our curator for December is Jessica Rae Bergamino.

Margaret Rhee is a poet, artist, and scholar. She is the author of chapbooks Yellow (Tinfish Press, 2011) and Radio Heart; or, How Robots Fall Out of Love (Finishing Line Press, 2015), nominated for a 2017 Elgin Award, Science Fiction Poetry Association. Her project The Kimchi Poetry Machine was selected for the Electronic Literature Collection Volume 3. Literary fellowships include Kundiman, Hedgebrook, and the Kathy Acker Fellowship. She received her Ph.D. from UC Berkeley in ethnic and new media studies. Currently, she is a Visiting Scholar at the NYU A/P/A Institute, and a Visiting Assistant Professor at SUNY Buffalo in the Department of Media Study.

Jessica Rae Bergamino is the author of UNMANNED, forthcoming from Noemi Press, as well as the chapbooks The Desiring Object or Voyager Two Explains to the Gathering of Stars How She Came to Glow Among Them (Sundress Publications), The Mermaid Singing (dancing girl press), and Blue in All Things: a Ghost Story (dancing girl press). Individual poems have recently appeared or are forthcoming in Third Coast, Black Warrior Review, Colorado Review, and Southern Humanities Review. She is a doctoral student in Literature and Creative Writing at the University of Utah, where she serves as Reviews Editor for Quarterly West.

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Meet Our Newest Intern, Julie Howd

HeadshotTo talk about myself is to talk about the ghosts who inhabit me: Stevens, Šalamun, Plath, Pizarnik, a whole host of Surrealists; and the living ghosts: Prado, Kocot, Brock-Broido, Bly. The small I that remains is of little consequence, loves cats, communes with trees, may once have been a tree, performs food alchemy, writes poems with or without the help of ghosts (though better with the ghosts).

My poetic obsession is the universal obsession—death—the biggest Unknown in the vault of unknowns. Death is the foil against which we design our lives, what drives us to do what we do. If not for death I do not know that I would write poetry. There would not be so much urgency to do so. Writing does not grant you immortality, but it allows you to converse intimately with both the living and the dead, to speak in a way that is natural to oneself, not in the way we are instructed to speak.

The most important thing that being a poet has brought me, aside from mental solace, is a community of Others who understand exactly what I mean when I say poetry is magic, and need no further explanation.

_____

Julie Howd is a Massachusetts native and holds an MFA in poetry from the University of Texas at Austin. She won the 2015 Roy Crane Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Creative Arts, and has received fellowships from the Juniper Summer Writing Institute and the James A. Michener Center for Writers. Currently, she lives and writes in Austin, teaching community classes through the public library. Her work can be found or is forthcoming in Texas’s Best Emerging Poets, Sixth Finch,Inter|rupture, Forklift, Ohio,  and elsewhere

The Wardrobe’s Best Dressed: Love, Robot by Margaret Rhee

Machine Testimonial 2

love is mystery. love is cake. you memorize the code to make her feel
better. because when she’s sick, she’s like a baby. so you bring orange
juice to share. love, you falsely accused her & still you did not apologize.
it seemed as if she were programmed perfectly for you. like microwaved
green beans & olive oil. but you crossed her wires. & you decided not to
stop to clarify, nor reboot. robots are not just machines. not here to just
listen to your commands. have you really listened to the hum of your robot
& let her vibrate into your vessels? you carried a heavy vase of flowers
and never let them wilt. when the fragments accumulate, they grow. love
is revolt. this is the algorithm you may never learn: love is letting go.


This selection comes from the collection Love, Robot, available from The Operating System. Order your copy here. Our curator for December is Jessica Rae Bergamino.

Margaret Rhee is a poet, artist, and scholar. She is the author of chapbooks Yellow (Tinfish Press, 2011) and Radio Heart; or, How Robots Fall Out of Love (Finishing Line Press, 2015), nominated for a 2017 Elgin Award, Science Fiction Poetry Association. Her project The Kimchi Poetry Machine was selected for the Electronic Literature Collection Volume 3. Literary fellowships include Kundiman, Hedgebrook, and the Kathy Acker Fellowship. She received her Ph.D. from UC Berkeley in ethnic and new media studies. Currently, she is a Visiting Scholar at the NYU A/P/A Institute, and a Visiting Assistant Professor at SUNY Buffalo in the Department of Media Study.

Jessica Rae Bergamino is the author of UNMANNED, forthcoming from Noemi Press, as well as the chapbooks The Desiring Object or Voyager Two Explains to the Gathering of Stars How She Came to Glow Among Them (Sundress Publications), The Mermaid Singing (dancing girl press), and Blue in All Things: a Ghost Story (dancing girl press). Individual poems have recently appeared or are forthcoming in Third Coast, Black Warrior Review, Colorado Review, and Southern Humanities Review. She is a doctoral student in Literature and Creative Writing at the University of Utah, where she serves as Reviews Editor for Quarterly West.

The Wardrobe’s Best Dressed: Love, Robot by Margaret Rhee


Radio Heart

Undress
Once I unbolted you, is that the word?
Silver screws encased you, and I
Let out a sharp sigh upon the sight of
Your metal, blue wires, all your insides.

Listen
Your glow upon my face. My name is
Engraved into your board, don’t ever suck the
Solder off. I don’t want to forget your
Radio heart. I crank the volume up and listen.

Drum
I dreamt I leapt through into your speakers
But your radio heart was all faux,
Cheap, plastic, and breakable. You promised, but
Sound never arrived in my eardrums.

Trace
Race is not programmed yet
So as you trace around my eyes
My lips, the round contours of my face
You say, you are so human, all human

Beat
Let the lover be disgraceful and crazy.
I still hear your radio heart beating
Inside this meat of mine. I wish it were as
Easy to turn mine off as yours.

Time
Your blue buttons. My hand
Turns your red dial slowly. Hey,
I just like watching your red needle
Inch, round, and wave toward me


This selection comes from the collection Love, Robot, available from The Operating System. Order your copy here. Our curator for December is Jessica Rae Bergamino.

Margaret Rhee is a poet, artist, and scholar. She is the author of chapbooks Yellow (Tinfish Press, 2011) and Radio Heart; or, How Robots Fall Out of Love (Finishing Line Press, 2015), nominated for a 2017 Elgin Award, Science Fiction Poetry Association. Her project The Kimchi Poetry Machine was selected for the Electronic Literature Collection Volume 3. Literary fellowships include Kundiman, Hedgebrook, and the Kathy Acker Fellowship. She received her Ph.D. from UC Berkeley in ethnic and new media studies. Currently, she is a Visiting Scholar at the NYU A/P/A Institute, and a Visiting Assistant Professor at SUNY Buffalo in the Department of Media Study.

Jessica Rae Bergamino is the author of UNMANNED, forthcoming from Noemi Press, as well as the chapbooks The Desiring Object or Voyager Two Explains to the Gathering of Stars How She Came to Glow Among Them (Sundress Publications), The Mermaid Singing (dancing girl press), and Blue in All Things: a Ghost Story (dancing girl press). Individual poems have recently appeared or are forthcoming in Third Coast, Black Warrior Review, Colorado Review, and Southern Humanities Review. She is a doctoral student in Literature and Creative Writing at the University of Utah, where she serves as Reviews Editor for Quarterly West.

The Wardrobe’s Best Dressed: Love, Robot by Margaret Rhee

Machine Testimonial 1

little robot, you grew up from when you were so young. just a pile of
sensors & recycled parts from the trash. i tried to make you gorgeous. &
you became such a gorgeous robot. beyond template & design. you’re not
so little anymore. when you walk on the street now, you glitter & gold.
long time for you to realize that you light up like so. oh maker, you say at
night, when humans are sleeping. i’m awake though, i hear you. i’m kinda
like you too, i was made from all trash, you know? my parts more perishable
than yours. believe me, robot. i want. i remember. my programming
is nascent. i see you lying there open, waiting for me. & i think, i want to
be good to you. my little automaton doll, take me up into the sky like it
was promised in the book of machine love.


This selection comes from the collection Love, Robot, available from The Operating System. Order your copy here. Our curator for December is Jessica Rae Bergamino.

Margaret Rhee is a poet, artist, and scholar. She is the author of chapbooks Yellow (Tinfish Press, 2011) and Radio Heart; or, How Robots Fall Out of Love (Finishing Line Press, 2015), nominated for a 2017 Elgin Award, Science Fiction Poetry Association. Her project The Kimchi Poetry Machine was selected for the Electronic Literature Collection Volume 3. Literary fellowships include Kundiman, Hedgebrook, and the Kathy Acker Fellowship. She received her Ph.D. from UC Berkeley in ethnic and new media studies. Currently, she is a Visiting Scholar at the NYU A/P/A Institute, and a Visiting Assistant Professor at SUNY Buffalo in the Department of Media Study.

Jessica Rae Bergamino is the author of UNMANNED, forthcoming from Noemi Press, as well as the chapbooks The Desiring Object or Voyager Two Explains to the Gathering of Stars How She Came to Glow Among Them (Sundress Publications), The Mermaid Singing (dancing girl press), and Blue in All Things: a Ghost Story (dancing girl press). Individual poems have recently appeared or are forthcoming in Third Coast, Black Warrior Review, Colorado Review, and Southern Humanities Review. She is a doctoral student in Literature and Creative Writing at the University of Utah, where she serves as Reviews Editor for Quarterly West.

The Wardrobe’s Best Dressed: Love, Robot by Margaret Rhee



Beam, Robot
how did we meet?
at the bar.
i thought you were beautiful across the way.
you lit up with the
pin ball machine.
you dazzled every time the
pool stick hit a cue.
i liked your lights.
i liked you.
i decided to say hi.
and there you were
dazzled by me.
this never happens you say,
after an
evening of talking,
we find ourselves alone,
your lights hovering over me,
my flickering dream machine.
there is no love manual for robots
you’re all made so uniquely.
in a steel factory.
where no one has the keys to
turn the electric locks.

i never attempted to hold one
between my breasts to turn on
your lights.
you had so many keys all that
never seemed to work with me.
when i began to love someone else,
would that be okay?
im not sure,
you replied,
how ill react.
who programmed you?
you placed two silver coins on my eyes
and asked me
to stay.
and i couldn’t, dear robot,
not to be cruel
but because i thought
i was right.
i was
following the morse code of my human heart.
why did you buy flowers and cards for me
even though.
why did you shine and
flicker and blink
after it was
long over.
all i naively
remembered of you was
a softened dim.
now, i understand why you took what you could.
the cold moon sullies a wet san francisco lawn.

small glints on blades of grass depend on how you look.
what i remember: once,
after we had dinner in the city.
there,
between
turk street and 7th
i stroked your shoulder
your lights began to beam and
you stayed put,
as the cars passed
us, and the traffic lights
eventually
all
turned
red.


This selection comes from the collection Love, Robot, available from The Operating System. Order your copy here. Our curator for December is Jessica Rae Bergamino.

Margaret Rhee is a poet, artist, and scholar. She is the author of chapbooks Yellow (Tinfish Press, 2011) and Radio Heart; or, How Robots Fall Out of Love (Finishing Line Press, 2015), nominated for a 2017 Elgin Award, Science Fiction Poetry Association. Her project The Kimchi Poetry Machine was selected for the Electronic Literature Collection Volume 3. Literary fellowships include Kundiman, Hedgebrook, and the Kathy Acker Fellowship. She received her Ph.D. from UC Berkeley in ethnic and new media studies. Currently, she is a Visiting Scholar at the NYU A/P/A Institute, and a Visiting Assistant Professor at SUNY Buffalo in the Department of Media Study.

Jessica Rae Bergamino is the author of UNMANNED, forthcoming from Noemi Press, as well as the chapbooks The Desiring Object or Voyager Two Explains to the Gathering of Stars How She Came to Glow Among Them (Sundress Publications), The Mermaid Singing (dancing girl press), and Blue in All Things: a Ghost Story (dancing girl press). Individual poems have recently appeared or are forthcoming in Third Coast, Black Warrior Review, Colorado Review, and Southern Humanities Review. She is a doctoral student in Literature and Creative Writing at the University of Utah, where she serves as Reviews Editor for Quarterly West.

The Wardrobe’s Best Dressed: Reversible by Marisa Crawford

Grounded

I was in my room masturbating with a frozen hot dog, which is just
one of the many examples of things that make my room truly my
own. The clock turned 11:11. I made a wish. I can’t tell you what I
wished for and I won’t. I wish I had an apartment with art all over
the walls and that the art was all linked together by one cohesive
theme. And maybe that theme could be the forest, or the trees.
Spooky light browns and bright, deep greens. I wish I had a second
room, a sort of parlor room. And I could go there to get grounded,
to not lose sight of where I came from and who I am.

To think about how devastating body image is. How I miss
Katie. How fantastic I might look in a tight white sweater, if you’d
let me. Oh if you would let me. Like you were ever even around
when everyone was saying to “Imagine Sisyphus happy,” let alone
present. I was in my room writing my name in cursive. I worked so
hard for so many years, crafting and re-crafting my signature, all its
intricate pleats and loops.

They say, “If the descent is thus sometimes performed in sorrow, it
can also take place in joy.” I talked to Stephen last week and it was
like being in hell. Like the weird poison stuff that mom used to put
on our cuts when we were little, the stuff that looked like blood. I
know that he stopped talking to Katie when she got on a plane and
moved to California. We all did, even me. And I know the only
reason why he keeps her in his Top Friends on Myspace is because
I told him you need to maintain a certain respect for parts of
your past that are sacred.

A man on the street asked me, “Can’t you smile better than that? Is
that smile the best you can do?” A dude walking behind me called
me “beautiful.” “Doll.” He said, “Keep up the good work.” Maybe
when he said that, he was talking about my writing, or about how I
stopped shaving my armpits, like a French babe, how I miss Katie.

How I felt like an enormous dying steam engine, gripping your
little finger with my balled-up fist. You said, “If Marisa is cute
in the forest, and there’s no one there to see her, is she still cute?” It’s
a really important question. How I want to say all the same things
I always want to say, so predictable, the rock rolling back down the
hill.

When I moved into my apartment the walls were deep cheerleader
maroon, and I painted them a soft, fuzzy peach. So now I can
rub my back up against the fuzz of the wall whenever I’m feeling
scared of getting robbed or getting stabbed, or missing Katie. And
then I start crying, or maybe sometimes I have an orgasm.

The frozen hot dog defrosted and broke off inside me. I was
chastised, then renowned, then eventually accepted by my peers.
On the airplane to California I sat by the window and looked down.
The city was covered with lights and clouds. My town looked like
little dollhouses. Earnest and willing. White and green and brown.


This selection comes from the collection Reversible, available from Switchback Books. Order your copy here. Our curator for December is Jessica Rae Bergamino.

Marisa Crawford is the author of the poetry collections Reversible (2017) and The Haunted House (2010) from Switchback Books, and the chapbooks 8th Grade Hippie Chic (Immaculate Disciples, 2013) and Big Brown Bag (Gazing Grain, 2015). Her poems, essays, and interviews have appeared in BUST, Broadly, Hyperallergic, Bitch, Fanzine, and other publications, and are forthcoming in Electric Gurlesque (Saturnalia, 2016). Marisa is the founder and editor-in-chief of the feminist literary/pop culture website WEIRD SISTER. She lives in Brooklyn, NY.

Jessica Rae Bergamino is the author of two previous chapbooks: The Mermaid Singing and Blue in All Things: a Ghost Story (dancing girl press 2015). Individual poems have most recently appeared or are forthcoming in Crab Orchard Review, Slice, So to Speak, West Branch, and elsewhere. She splits her time between Seattle and Salt Lake City, where she is a PhD student in Literature and Creative Writing at the University of Utah.

The Desiring Object OR Voyager Two Explains to the Gathering Stars How She Came to Glow Among Them is available free download from the Sundress Publications website!

WEEKLY WRITING ROUND-UP: WEEK OF 12/7/17

It’s hard to keep up with the threats to our livelihood when they seem to be coming in full throttle on a daily basis. I imagine many of you are already doing so, but please continue to keep calling your elected officials. Many of the writers whose work I have featured depend on tuition waivers so they can learn their craft and teach in in graduate programs. Many of them are indigenous to land that keeps being taken from them, with the latest attack occurring just days ago. Many of them depend on DACA, have family in Palestine, and need reproductive healthcare. If you don’t already know, you can check who your representatives are here.

This week I’ve been watching the snow start to lightly fall here in upstate New York and curling up with the following:

Poetry

The Brain Like An Orchestra That Can Play Many Tunes by Shannon Elizabeth Hardwick: “If I had been older, would I have let him / follow through with it. I was twenty / and manic and had mostly quit hurting // myself.”

The Fifth Map by Craig Santos Perez: “I examine the map closely, / navigating beyond the violent divisions /of national and maritime borders”

[a witch is made witchier by a weird dripping tree] by Tim Lynch: “a witch is made witchier by a weird dripping tree / & i’ve become a crow in the fog / capable of murder, laughing at the roots”

LOVE IS NOT LOVE by David Ishaya Osu: “you can memorize your / lemon grass / scent, because / your window is always / open”

Pardon My Gender by Joshua Jennifer Espinoza: “Pardon my gender — / I didn’t mean to make you / question the nature of our reality / or the walls that surround us and / demand we be one thing or the other”

My Inner Child is an Erasure of The Little Mermaid, According to the EMDR by Nicole Connolly: “Addiction workbook suggests: /      Erase all scenes where the lover hasn’t kissed you yet /      and saves you      anyway.”

Essays

Cyntoia Brown and the Commodification of the Good Victim by Laura Leemon: “Most prestigious anti-trafficking allies don’t give a shit about trafficking survivors—they never have. Julie Bindle, Melissa Farley, Gail Dines, Polaris Project, Shared Hope, International Justice Mission, Benjamin Nolot, Alisa Bernard, and Peter Qualliotine—all of them claim to care deeply about survivors, but the “help” they offer them is woefully fucked up and misguided. What have they done to help survivors like Cyntoia Brown, who has spent over a decade in prison for killing a violent client?”

I Changed My Name After I Was Raped by Alaina Leary:  “It wasn’t until I was a freshman in college, when I survived a rape at an on-campus college party, that the change felt necessary. It was no longer about feeling like my name didn’t fit or not liking the sound of its pronunciation – this was about survival.”

Revolution and American Indians: “Marxism is as Alien to My Culture as Capitalism” by Russell Means: “I’m not saying that on the one hand there are the by-products of a few thousand years of genocidal, reactionary, European intellectual development which is bad; and on the other hand there is some new revolutionary intellectual development which is good. I’m referring here to the so-called theories of Marxism and anarchism and “leftism” in general. I don’t believe these theories can be separated from the rest of the of the European intellectual tradition. It’s really just the same old song.”


Stephanie Kaylor in based in upstate New York and is currently a MA student in Philosophy, Art, and Critical Thought at European Graduate School. She holds a MA in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies from the University at Albany and is Managing Editor for Five:2:One Magazine and Reviews Editor for Glass: A Journal of Poetry.

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The Wardrobe’s Best Dressed: Reversible by Marisa Crawford

Kurt & Courtney

It was 1994 and I started having this feeling.

Like I was being electrocuted.

Like underneath my hair it was a bald person’s head.

And underneath my head was a skeleton.

I got a motherfucking hole in my embroidered hippie backpack.

I sewed a Grateful Dead skull patch over it with my own two
hands.

There are a lot of things that fell into that hole.

So many things that I lost there.

My Hello Kitty mood ring.

My other mood ring.

The Kiss t-shirt that Courtney Love shoplifted in high school.

The baby-blue baby-doll shirt I stole from the mall.

All our favorite songs & their best lines.

My spine. A three-pronged peace sign.

The pen you had that looked like lipstick.

The pen you had that looked like a syringe.

I have a skeleton underneath my skin. I am serious.

My veins are a really pretty shade of blue.

I was just daydreaming.

I was stargazing, headbanging.

I dove into the pool with all my jewelry on.

Like I was a puzzle in all my facets.

Like something famous was happening inside my body.

I curled my fingers to make a heart.

I wrote you a love letter.

In denim blue ink.

In denim blue.

Torn up jeans with holes in the knees.


This selection comes from the collection Reversible, available from Switchback Books. Order your copy here. Our curator for December is Jessica Rae Bergamino.

Marisa Crawford is the author of the poetry collections Reversible (2017) and The Haunted House (2010) from Switchback Books, and the chapbooks 8th Grade Hippie Chic (Immaculate Disciples, 2013) and Big Brown Bag (Gazing Grain, 2015). Her poems, essays, and interviews have appeared in BUST, Broadly, Hyperallergic, Bitch, Fanzine, and other publications, and are forthcoming in Electric Gurlesque (Saturnalia, 2016). Marisa is the founder and editor-in-chief of the feminist literary/pop culture website WEIRD SISTER. She lives in Brooklyn, NY.

Jessica Rae Bergamino is the author of two previous chapbooks: The Mermaid Singing and Blue in All Things: a Ghost Story (dancing girl press 2015). Individual poems have most recently appeared or are forthcoming in Crab Orchard Review, Slice, So to Speak, West Branch, and elsewhere. She splits her time between Seattle and Salt Lake City, where she is a PhD student in Literature and Creative Writing at the University of Utah.

The Desiring Object OR Voyager Two Explains to the Gathering Stars How She Came to Glow Among Them is available free download from the Sundress Publications website!

The Wardrobe’s Best Dressed: Reversible by Marisa Crawford

 

You Can’t Ask Alice Anything Anymore

Rayanne Graff on Kurt Cobain: I still can’t look at him.

I found your ring in the cobwebs in my chest. Your name in needle

scratches in my arm.

Like a stigmata cause I knew you            I was in you all along.

 

On 90210 when they play Skeletons in the Closet & Amanda says

that’s cute Kelly but tell us about your real first time.

 

Angela Chase on getting over Jordan: dancing around her room to

“Blister in the Sun.”

 

You guys I found my suicide note from 1995 LOL.

 

I wrote it by candlelight while listening to The Cranberries.

Instead of killing myself I took one too many Motrin and went

to sleep.          I am glad,

 

I’m gliding.                Bricks are heavy,

 

I am calling in              teen girl.

 

Go Ask Alice on downers:  Who needs to go down when you can go

up!  Up up up up up up up.

 

Richie gave me some joints to smoke when I’m alone and I want to

be in heaven. Isn’t that nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice!

 

I draw flowers subconsciously it’s crazy.

 

The wet brown eyes with bangs in them on the cover look just like

my own.

 

Go Ask Alice on “She’s Leaving Home:”  I had tears dripping down

my face like two spigots had been turned on inside my head.

 

Kurt, is possession sexy?   Is it like            girl on girl.

 

Hot pink and bright forest green  and black        like your death, like

yr converse black.

 

Oh that song was written about me

and all the others of thousands of girls like me.

 

Janice B on acid:  We put it where our heart is.

 

And where our eyes go we put red candy hearts.


This selection comes from the collection Reversible, available from Switchback Books. Order your copy here. Our curator for December is Jessica Rae Bergamino.

Marisa Crawford is the author of the poetry collections Reversible (2017) and The Haunted House (2010) from Switchback Books, and the chapbooks 8th Grade Hippie Chic (Immaculate Disciples, 2013) and Big Brown Bag (Gazing Grain, 2015). Her poems, essays, and interviews have appeared in BUST, Broadly, Hyperallergic, Bitch, Fanzine, and other publications, and are forthcoming in Electric Gurlesque (Saturnalia, 2016). Marisa is the founder and editor-in-chief of the feminist literary/pop culture website WEIRD SISTER. She lives in Brooklyn, NY.

Jessica Rae Bergamino is the author of two previous chapbooks: The Mermaid Singing and Blue in All Things: a Ghost Story (dancing girl press 2015). Individual poems have most recently appeared or are forthcoming in Crab Orchard Review, Slice, So to Speak, West Branch, and elsewhere. She splits her time between Seattle and Salt Lake City, where she is a PhD student in Literature and Creative Writing at the University of Utah.

The Desiring Object OR Voyager Two Explains to the Gathering Stars How She Came to Glow Among Them is available free download from the Sundress Publications website!

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